Aaarghh

why wont you just talk to me

just say you dont want to talk about it if need be


i'd let you into all the secrets of my life you just need to ask


ignoring me and refusing to reply hurts so much

this wont work if you do this

because i cant take more pain now

my mind is too fucked

i'm here for you and always will be

and i can wait as long as you want too

just dont shut me out alltogether

i cant bear it.

HELP!!

I dont knwo whats going on tonight

this has building up for a wile and think the stress and pain is going to drive me over the edje

nothing makes sence
my mind is a jumble


my body and hand wont stop shakingy
my heart is pumping so fast

i feel like i'm on the edge of a panic atack that is taking my whole will power ito keep back

i dont know what to do its all to fucking much

i dont want to sleep because i dont want to be alone in the dark


help!!!

Uh Oh

OK this thing must be really addictive.

This is only my third day having it and its my third post.

At this rate its going to end up as a diary.

Considering my blog title i suppose i best put some of my lyrics up here.

OK this is a song about a girl i fell for a wile ago now'
but don't think its all good because she completely screwed me over just after i wrote this,
she put me in a bad position between siblings and friends that i don't want to be in again but as promised......

Temptress Woman

You'll cross the room she'll lock your eye,
you'll stop walking as she goes by,
you'll feel your blessed by the gods above,
but shes my temptress and she just wants love

She looks at you with that sexy smile,
those gorgeous eyes, that evil guile,
you know you'd give your life away
just to lay her down that very day

You'll give her all and she'll take more
but you'll never consider going out that door
She'll hold your mind and keep your heart
she's my temptress a piece of art

She'll steal your day and haunt your sleep,
She'll stare at you and you'll feel weak,
She'll inspire you and give you goal'
She's my temptress and she stole my soul.

now i haven't look at that since she fucked with me so writing that down makes me realise how much damage she almost managed to do.

But we live and learn...

Day of no rest

Spent most of last night when i got home talking to my dad.
About whats on our minds at the moment i.e. Mum...

It was a weird chat,
we got mad,
we got sad,
we laughed and smiled,
then got mad again,
got sad again,
and by that time it was early morning and i was knackered.

So as deserved consequence i was more than tiered today.
Even after copious amounts of diferent caffeinated beverages.

But hey got a cider in my hand and the thought of a gig later on so roll on the night \m/....

Lets get started

This is my first post and to be honest I'm not sure what to wright so i thought I'd let some words flow through a poem about how I've been feeling over the last couple of months.

Red Light

It happened again last night, i felt the rage, i saw the red light,
i drove myself to where my body said no, then to where my mind refused to follow,
i feel it now, the pain of my sins breaking through my body,
they are my aces, my pains, my scars and my proof,
i bare them with pride, i bare them with strength,
I'm losing my mind and it's the best feeling in the world,

i think of them, i think of her,
the lights come back, i lose control,
by arms go tense, my mind goes black,
i wander dead streets on dead nights,
i know why I'm here I'm looking for a fight,

i close my eyes the red comes back,
i open them again and see the destruction of my sins




I've been going through a tough period in my life at the moment and i seem to be coming out the other end now. It still hurts and in my opinion it probably always will. But we live with our decisions and all we can do hold up our heads grit our teeth and keep fighting.